by B. Scott Binion
Let me start with asking a question; why would anyone let anything stand in their way of being as successful as they want to be? To being a significant part of making their own success, having more time, and increasing their level of income? For the life of me, I don’t understand to those who actually object to this! Mind boggling! Why would anyone put up a wall to block having more time and a sensible income to enjoy it? I believe it boils down to primarily four fears of normal day living! They are;
- Fear of change
- Fear of failure
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of success
The first three are understandable, but the fourth one – fear of success – hard to believe? Let’s look further into these fears; what causes them, how do we overcome them, as well as helping others along the way.
Fear of Change!
The fear of change is so intertwined in all of our lives, every facet, every aspect. This could be as small as changing brands of toothpaste or as large as leaving a job to pursue a life-long dream. It is prevalent throughout the workplace, at church, and at home. I have family members and friends that will not even think of doing things differently, because it involves change.
Frequently, people focus too much on the consequences of not making a change. They feel it is safer than making a different decision and then sticking with it. The fear of not changing your course of action can have a huge impact on different areas of your path to success. Change is a part of life. It’s there whether we like it or not, always following us. Our nation’s leader changes, our business associates, employees, our kids school teachers, little league coaches change and so on.
Fighting or obsessing on change will only slow down our progress. This fear is strong and takes significant, hard work to overcome.
Fear of Failure!
Coupled with the fear of change comes a seemingly insurmountable stumbling block called failure. People are driven by many things, money, fame, success, and also failure. Not succeeding in building a large business, family relationships, getting the large contract, getting that book published, to go on that sales trip, can cause a barrier to be built between you and success. If you look at each of our particular lives, failure is all around. It is also a part of life. Not a pleasant one though, but its affects still remain. I’ve failed. You’ve failed. Your neighbor has failed. We’ve all failed! What we do after or during a period of failure demands our focus and attention.
Fear of the Unknown!
The next type of fear is very similar to the fear of change – it is the fear of not knowing what’s going to happen or the unknown. This may cause you to not take advantage of an opportunity that has presented itself. It may also steer you into making decisions that take you further away from where you want to go.
A business associate of mine is quite successful in financial terms. One problem though, he wants to work for himself, and stop giving everything to his employer. He is overworked and underappreciated, but well compensated. At the surface, money doesn’t come into play, but in reality it does. He has the funds to start a business in the same profession. He has the drive to make it happen. He has the connections to build a successful network in bringing in business. He has potential employees waiting on him to make a move. What’s holding him back?
Fear of the unknown. What if this doesn’t work like it is supposed to? Giving up security is a logical consideration. Some people need security, others place less importance on it. I firmly believe that he would be an overwhelming success if he were to take the risk. But I don’t believe he will – because of not knowing what may happen going forward. Fear of the unknown is a powerful deterrent to reaching where you want to be. It can cause you to make emotional decisions, with little rationale of what the consequences may turn out to be.
Fear of Success!
The last fear is difficult to understand. In the opening statement of this article, I mentioned that this is mind boggling. But when you look below the surface of this odd fear, you will find some very interesting causes to be afraid of becoming successful.
The first cause of this fear lies with how we were conditioned while growing up. If you come from a relatively poor background, success may have been always out or reach or not for the working class. Success was for those who were able to have the money to start businesses, buy property, invest in stocks, etc. Growing up this just wasn’t a viable option for me. Was I wrong along with those that continually reinforced this way of thinking?
Another cause of fearing success is what our society expects, especially from business owners or professionals. You own a business, you must be a success. If this is a true slice of what the public thinks, they must have never owned a small business or been self-employed. Success is not owning a business, but allowing the business to work for you.
Successful people take chances. They study the risks and make calculated decisions in order to reach their goals. Some of the greatest leaders faced these same fears – Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, and Winston Churchill to name a few. Each learned from their fears and turned them into stepping stones toward success. You can too!
Steps to Overcome These Fears!
Believe me, I experienced all of these types of fears, on more than one occasion and probably will going forward. The following steps have helped me minimize or lesson the impact these fears have on reaching the goals before me. In order to combat these fears, a change in our perception of the fear itself has to take place.
Garbage in, garbage out! It’s most certainly true in dealing with our perceptions of how fear affects our road to success. The more we dwell on what can happen with fear, the less chance we can experience life without fear. The two go hand in hand. Successful people use fear to their advantage.
The first step is to view these fears as a stepping stone, not a stumbling block, to reaching success. What a paradigm shift! The very idea of our fears being an aid to success takes some time to grasp. Look at it this way – if you don’t receive that large contract or big sale, the world is not going to come crashing down. Sure it’s painful, but what can be learned by loosing that contract? Maybe you were counting on it, when in reality it was a long shot. Maybe the price was too high and not competitive. The basic assumptions behind bidding on the project could have been misunderstood.
At any rate, once you have gotten over the idea of loosing the project and are ready to move on, take a period of time to objectively reflect on the circumstances or situation around the whole process. It will surprise you how much information you can gain from not being on the winning side. This first step will take you a long way in overcoming all of these fears.
The next step is what you are going to do based upon your reflections – once your vantage point has changed. In overcoming the fears of change, failure, the unknown, and ultimately success, what is done next will determine which path we take - not only the direction that is taken, but our speed in getting there. Part of my perception is to fail quickly, and overcome it even faster. I have learned life’s most valuable lessons through both personal and professional failures. These lessons have changed my life and if you let them, they will change yours too. Once we change our perceptions of each of these fears, map out a direction to move forward, we can proceed toward the last step.
The last step is to put what you have learned to action. Some call it an action plan or business plan. Here are a few tips to help in making sure you achieve your action plan:
- Keep it simple
- Expect your plan to change
- Make changes when necessary
- Become accountable
- Track your progress
- Celebrate when you get there
Let these fears become your allies, not your nemesis. Fear can bring out both the worst and best in each of us. It is your choice which side comes out. Break down the many walls that fear builds and convert them into a platform to reach higher toward success.
So go ahead and start failing fast, it may be a quicker route to achieving your individual success.